i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
