sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
