office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
