my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
