So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
