Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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