I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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