remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
jump out the window naked night went bad
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
