Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
