Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
