I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
