hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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