Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
