I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
