How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
