thus making me awesome and them whores
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
