he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
