idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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