so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
