Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
