It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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