Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
