erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
