My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize