Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
