Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
is it fun? or sober?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
