I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
