She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is my gift to your gina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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