i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
