Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize