well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
