i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize