i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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