How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
