did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
