dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize