God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
