Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
