OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
