I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
