Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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