I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
