hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
