yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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