She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
