Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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