dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
