do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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