I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
