my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
