Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
