White coat. Heels.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
