used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
