Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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