so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
