Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
time to smoke my breakfast
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
