I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
