drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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