DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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