she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
