I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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