the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
