i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
