I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
