I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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