dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
