I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
