What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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