am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
