escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize