It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
