thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
