birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
