do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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