I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
