She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How's work?
Spinning.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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