hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
