I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
