Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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