needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
