the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
