Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
