I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
