Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
